Welcome to the first actual installment of my music therapy series. In case you missed it, I wrote an introduction to this series a couple of days ago that you can find here. The quick introduction is that I use music to help me cope with living with rheumatoid arthritis - with life in general, to be honest - and wanted to share some of the songs that help. Music has been proven to help with pain and depression, among other things. The power of music knows no bounds. This series will be ongoing, with the second installment coming later this week. For these first two installments, I've decided to take you all on an emotional progression of sorts. We're going to start in the dark and work our way towards the light.
Before we get into it, I did want to mention an article I read a while back that suggested that listening to sad music all the time can make you more depressed. It's a valid point and one that I agree with. So why include sad songs? Because sometimes that's exactly what I need. Because it is my belief that you can't move past a negative emotion without first letting yourself feel it. We're not trying to marinate, if you will, in sadness. Instead, the idea is to use these songs as a way to tap into those emotions and to let them flow enough to be able to fully process them in order to be able to let them go. It's all about the release. The goal is ultimately to feel better, not worse.
I've been in so many online support groups over the years. One of the things that drives me crazy is when someone is reaching out for support and gets bombarded by people ordering them to be positive. Now look. I'm not knocking positivity. It's true that a positive outlook, particularly when it involves your health, will help you more than a negative one. The problem is when people act like emotions are something you can turn off and on like a light switch. When people who already feel bad are made to feel worse because they can't control their emotions as well as others can. That it's somehow wrong to feel sad or depressed or angry or lonely. That they must not be trying hard enough. This is rude at best and dangerous at worst. Depression is a very real problem among the chronically ill. It is not unusual to see posts from people contemplating suicide because they don't feel like they can handle it anymore. Every now and then you hear of someone who actually went through with it. You have no idea what it took for someone to make that post. To find the courage to reach out. You don't know how close to the ledge they might be. Better to say nothing if all you're capable of is making them feel bad about having a tough time.
As my pastor says, it's okay to not be okay. It's okay to not have it all together. You are not a failure because you're struggling. Nor are you a failure for feeling sad or what have you. What you are is human. Maybe the first step isn't to listen to some music, but to take a breath. Just breathe. Hear me: if you're struggling with something, be it RA or something else, it's okay to be sad about it. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to feel however you feel. Ignoring those emotions, pretending that they don't exist, will not help you feel better. Emotions are like the truth - sooner or later they're going to come spilling out. They just will. Trust me, I know from experience. Better to deal with them as you feel them than to bottle them up until you explode. Remember. It's all about the release. That's how you move on. That's how you start to feel better.
1. "Mad World" by Peter Hollens. This song was originally done by Tears for Fears with this version being a cover of Gary Jules' version of the song. Got that? Told you we were starting in the dark. Both lyrically and visually, as it worked out. I've talked about my love for dark songs in the past. I find them to be the most interesting kinds of songs. As Peter says at the end of the video, it's important to experience this kind of music. It's beautiful in a haunting way and Peter's voice suits it so well. Watch.
2. "Better" by Maggie Rose. If this girl isn't already on your radar, she needs to be. Maggie hails from my home state of Maryland and why she's not more popular, I have no idea. She released her newest EP, Welcome to the Variety Show - Vol 1, back in April and I definitely recommend checking out. "Better" tells the story of a woman trying to move on after losing the love of her life. But I think these lyrics, particularly the chorus, can apply to just about anyone. Living in chronic pain, I can assure you that we spend a fair amount of time wanting to feel better. We don't even need to feel good; sometimes we just want to feel a little less bad.
http://www.maggierosemusic.com/
3. "I'm Tryin'" by Trace Adkins. I forgot just how much I liked this video until I watched it recently. Cool concept, especially with all the messages scattered throughout. This was an easy choice for this post. I feel like we tend to put too much pressure on ourselves. We think we should be doing better than we are and feel like we're failing because we're not. Even when we do mess up, even when we make stupid choices - it doesn't automatically make us failures. Sometimes you need to give yourself some credit just for trying. Especially when dealing with something like RA. As Trace sings, "All I can do is all I can do, but I keep on tryin'/ And all I can be is all I can be and I keep on tryin'" Indeed. Be nice to yourself. You're doing the best that you can.
4. "Fight Song/Amazing Grace" by The Piano Guys. Okay, so we've tapped into those feelings of depression and loneliness. We've acknowledged that we want to feel better and that we are doing our best. And now? We fight. In my introduction to this series I called my faith and music the big guns when dealing with my RA. Well, this mashup combines the two and does so in a way that is just beautiful. Especially when you add in the video. It's so gorgeous and inspiring. That part when they start playing "Amazing Grace" with just the piano and cello is so lovely. And then that emotional punch to the gut when the bagpipes and drums join back in; I love it. Every time I listen to or watch this, it makes me feel like I'm ready to take on anything. Je suis prest. If you recognize that saying, you're either part Scottish like me or you watch Outlander (also like me).
5. "Stand" by Rascal Flatts. Easily one of my favorite Rascal Flatts songs, this has been on of my go-to songs when I'm struggling for years. Here's the thing about fighting: you get knocked down sometimes and that's okay. Unpleasant and defeating, yes. But it's okay. Because you know the good thing about being knocked down? It forces you to look up. And that gives you the power to stand back up. As Gary sings, "Every time you get up and get back in the race/ One more small piece of you starts to fall into place". It's true. "You get mad, you get strong/ Wipe your hands, shake it off/ Then you stand". That's right. And then you stand.
6. "I'm Gonna Take That Mountain" by Reba McEntire. I listen to this song a bunch, but hadn't watched the video in a long time. Long enough that I'd completely forgotten about the dancers. It kind of threw me a bit, but hey, I'm going with it. Sticking with the overall theme of the last couple of videos, this one is all about determination. You've decided to fight. You've picked yourself back up. Now you've decided that since there's no way around this mountain, you're going to take it. That's the spirit. Should you find yourself back at the bottom, it's okay. I'll refer you back to songs 3, 4 and 5. Remember that it's an ongoing process.
7. "Like A Lion" by Bryan Lanning. I first heard about Bryan when he collaborated with Peter Hollens on "You'll Be In My Heart" from Tarzan. It's a great duet that will most likely be featured in my video spotlight series at some point. Of course, after watching I had to go and check out Bryan's channel and this was the first video of his that I watched. I love the message and it flat out makes me feel good when I listen to it. It felt like the perfect song to wrap up this first installment of this series.
And there we have it. That'll do it for this first part. I hope that these songs helped some of you, even if only a little bit. They're all available for purchase so definitely buy them if you enjoyed them. You can find any information you need on their respective websites, found below each of their videos. Or if you can't or have any questions or what have you, you can shoot me an email at countrymusicatk@hotmail.com. As previously stated, the second installment of this will be up later this week and that's going to be a fun one. So watch out for that.
Writing this has made me curious: what are some of your go-to songs when you're having a tough time? Let me know in the comments or tweet them at me @countrymusicatk, if that's your preference.
Thanks for reading!
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